Fear of what hasn't happened,

Fear of what went before,

Fear of what's coming,

Fear of fear,

A powerful emotion,

No one wants it but it is also used in a way to make us feel so uncomfortable that we take action.

No one on this Earth goes without the feeling of fear.

Sometimes it's like a low level humming within us that we get used to. The other ways we experience fear is an overwhelming, melt down, seizing up and paralysing feeling.

No one likes it.

Anxiety is another form of this horrible emotion and fear.

I like to know what's happening in my life and be in control but the fact is, it’s only in a minimal way that I have any control at all.

We can’t control others, events that may happen, illness, things that go wrong, mechanical etc.

I went to a beautiful Buddhist Monastery for many years. I stayed there with my family for family camp. It was very hectic, I stayed up late, got up early, took part in lots of activities and chores. Had a lovely time with my family and the other family campers. 

I also had some of the most difficult and unpleasant experiences there, as I said we can’t control others and sometimes I was deeply affected by the behaviour of others, not in a good way. I was also deeply touched by the love that I received and exchanged with others. Yes it’s true, I learnt from the ugly, painful experiences as well as the beautiful times. 

The Monastery did have an effect on me and my children, somewhere in my being, I know even I’m being destructive, I know what to do, it surfaces, if I allow it, it is to be constructive. The trouble is, with fear it likes to suffocate and drown me. I seem to have a life jacket though, my belief system, my experience in this world and my trust in Spirit. I do drown yes but then I can come up for a quick gasp of air. 

We all have life jackets , some stay under the water a bit longer but there’s always a way to surface. Look to the sun that shines through the water, leading you to the light, you’ll bob up eventually. In dark times Light will push through. 

As my lovely mum used to say “ and this too shall pass”.